Mistakes & Miracles
by xxCandyApples
Summary: In some mistakes, there are miracles. But in some other mistakes, there's no miracle. Now that they've made a mistake, will there be a miracle? Or wil one fade away forever? You never realize how much you love something until it's gone. Kutau


Lounging lazily on the couch, Utau reached for the ringing cellphone and glanced at the caller. Her mind began to wander about why Amu would be calling her at this time at night. She hit the talk button. "Yeah Amu?" she asked boredly, looking up at the ceiling. In the background she could hear loud music, and people yelling and chearing.

"Look Utau," Amu started, Utau could tell by the tone of her voice that something was wrong. "can you do a favor for me?"

Utau sighed. "And what would that be Amu?"

"Bring Kukai home for me. Look, I know you two aren't that close of friends, but I can't take care of him right now." Amu stated, talking quicker by the second.

"Wait, why do I need to bring him home?" Utau questioned, sitting up on the couch. "Can't you have someone else bring him home?"

"Well," Amu replied slowly. "Rima and Nagi are off on a date, Ikuto's.. looking for your dad.." There was a short silence between the line, but Amu decided to keep on talking. "And Tadase, Yaya, and Kairi are somewhere, and they wont answer their phones."

"Can't you drive him home Amu?" Utau asked in a bored tone, glancing at her television where MTV played.

"I would, but I'm kinda bus-"

"You're at the same party as him, aren't you?" Utau snapped. "So what's the problem then?"

"Listen Utau," Amu said slowly. "please just do this for me."

Utau sighed. "And what do I get in return? A big thank you for bringing Ramen boy home? I don't think so."

"Utau.." Amu whinned. "please!"

Utau mumbled something not so nice under her breath, she then got up from the couch and pulled her shoes on. "Fine, I'm on my way- Wait, where _are_ you?"

"I'm at 25 Maple Street, please hurry, Utau!"

Utau didn't bother to reply, hitting the end button on her phone and putting a sweatshirt on over her purple tee-shirt. On her way out of the door of her apartment, she picked up her car keys and closed the door behind her, locking it as well. "People these days..." she mumbled to herself as she opened up the door to her black mustang, turning the car on she quickly made her way out of the driveway and out onto the road.

The silence seemed to make the car ride feel longer, so she turned on the radio, and surprisingly enough, her newest song, Glorious Sunshine, roared softly from her speakers. Utau began to wonder why in the world Amu couldn't bring Kukai home herself, maybe she was with another guy and didn't tell her, or maybe Amu was just plain old lazy. And not to mention, Utau and Kukai _are_close friends, maybe Amu just didn't know that.

Utau wasn't even two blocks away from her destination when she could hear music blaring, she couldn't tell what the song was, but it seemed familiar to Utau's ears. Utau pulled around to the block, to find that it was nearly filled with cars, though she wasn't surprised, it was a party after-all and most people that were there could drive. Once finally finding a parking spot, she got out of her car and walked up to the house that was holding the party. She didn't bother knocking and she opened the door to find several drunk teenagers grinding against each other. Utau rolled her eyes and walked past them, getting several offers for her to join them.

_Where could that boy be? _Utau thought to herself as she searched around the house, she was in no luck. Until, however, she heard his voice yell into the atmosphere and she turned around quickly to look at him. She found him dancing wildly, his shirt off and his hair a mess. Utau gave him an odd look, she couldn't understand a word he was saying and he couldn't stand still for more than a second.

"Idol-san!" he slurred, a wide smile growing on his face as he made his way over to her. He put his arm around her neck and winked at her. "What would a nice lady like you be..." he didn't finish, and instead and brought her closer to him, pulling her head to his bare chest. She held back a blush and tried to push herself away from him.

"What's wrong with you?" Utau asked, still trying to push herself away. She gave up after a minute and had her face pressed against his manly chest.

Kukai chuckled, nearly falling over and held Utau closer. "Idoll-saaan~" he cooed, looking down at the not-so-impressed female. "Came to see meh?"

"What the hell is wrong with you!" she shouted into his chest and managed to escape from his grip. She sent a madden glare at his way and headed for the door. "Come with me, I'm bringing you home!"

Kukai shook his head obnoxiously and stomped one foot on the ground. "No, I'm stay... here!" It seemed that he almost forgot what he was saying, a blank look showed in his eyes and he wobbled over to the aggravated teen.

Utau looked at him, examining Kukai as if he was an alien. She sniffed him just in case, and when she got the wiff of not just axe, but the unwanted substance of an alcoholic drink, she snorted. "You've been drinking!" she exclaimed, a hand covering her mouth, trying not to believe what she had learned. She had never thought that Kukai would ever drink in his whole life, but here he was now, completely drunk and stumbling all over the place.

"Nah! I'm not drr-" he looked down at her breast, loosing his words and a pervy grin showed on his face. Even if they were covered up by her sweatshirt, his eyes still stared at where they were.

"Perv." Utau muttered under her breath, slapping him gently on his face to gain his attention back to her face. "Listen, I'm going to bring you home, okay?"

Kukai smiled dumbly, a long nod and stood there waiting for Utau to do something. She rolled her eyes, taking his hand and dragged him outside and then started to search for where her car was. If it was possible, it seemed like there was more people at the party, thus means, more cars. She finally found her mustang and dropped off the drunk Kukai at the passenger side. She was just about to get in her car when she looked up at Kukai, who was looking strangely at the car, as if he didn't know what he was supposed to do.

"Idiot." Utau grumbled to him, walking to his side and opened the door for him. He slowly climbed into the passenger seat, and she closed the door. She quickly got into the drivers seat and glanced at Kukai, who managed to buckle up and stare at Utau dumbly.

"You're beautiful, Tau-tau, have I ever told you that?" Kukai questioned, while slurring the whole sentance. Utau tried to ignore him, and hide a blush, _and_make sure she didn't punch him for calling her Tau-tau. Instead, she managed to get herself onto the road with her car and started to drive. Having no clue where Kukai lived, she decided that it would be safe to bring him back to her apartment.

"You mind that I bring you to my place?" Utau asked, glancing at Kukai once again, who was still staring at her.

Kukai mumbled something that Utau couldn't comprehend, and decided that he said yes. She was nearly startled when the radio turned on and music blared from her speakers, the car vibrating, and while she reached to turn it down, Kukai grabbed her hand and held it. Utau rolled her eyes. "Turn it down." She didn't hear his reply, but the loudnes of the music dropped and she could hear the car again.

And then the sound of screeching tires against the hard, black ground echoed throughout the teen's ears, causing her to panick and look to see what was going on. Kukai, on the other hand, didn't care at all, too busy looking at her, amazed by the beauty of her. "Oh God no," she whispered to herself, blinking twice and looking around on the road. She knew that something bad was going to happen, and she didn't want to be a part of it. "please no."

She then felt his presence around her, his warm arms wrapped around her figure firmly, his head against her body. He tried to pull her away from the wheel, to cuddle with her. And as she tried to resist, trying her best to hold onto the steering wheel, she was feeling fear rising in her. And she was still wondering where the screeching noise was coming from. And as Kukai desperately called her name again, wanting her more then ever, she tried to push him off with one hand, trying her best to look at the road.

And that's when she saw what was making the screeching noise, a car that went out of control. Though it was somewhat faraway, Utau knew that she would have to do something fast to get out of away. But instead, she started to panic, her eyes widening and taking deep breaths. "Nononononononono." Utau mumbled to herself, and when she was about to try and steer out of the way, Kukai grabbed onto her arms and pulled them away.

"No need to worry about that Idol-san," he winked at her, puckering up his lips. "but to worry about my lips."

Utau shook her head, trying to get free from his grip and looked back at the road, it was too late now to do anything. But yet to wait and see if the car was going to hit them. She turned her head to look back at Kukai, she was afraid that this was going to be her last few minutes of living and figured she had to at least kiss the guy once, to give him a happy death if he died as well. She leaned down and pressed her lips against his quickly, just giving him what he wanted, and pulled away, holding back a blush that wanted to creep up on her face. She also did manage to push Kukai back into his seat, making sure that he was buckled up, she wanted him to be safe more than she wanted herself to be.

The other car was turning so fast, and heading for them, Utau didn't get a chance to scream when she looked back at the road, and she mentally scolded herself for doing so. The cars met at a hard impact, causing both of them to basically stop at impact, but Utau had then tried to get out of the way, turning in anyway possible. Her eyes widened when the other car hit into Kukai's side of the car, nearly crushing the teen right there. But it wasn't over yet, the car start to tilt on the two tires on her side, about to tilt over and she held back a scream. The car then rolled over, twice.

Utau felt like she couldn't feel anything, trying to get her way out of her car, tears were rolling down her cheeks. She was ashamed of herself, and of course, so scared that she couldn't stop the tears. She finally pulled herself out of the car, sitting there for a long amount of time, trying to take everything in. Blood slithered down the side of her face, and some blood also exited from her mouth as well. Her body was aching and small amounts of shattered glass from the dashboard had stricken her all around the front side of her body.

She heard a car door open and foot steps on the road, and all of a suden she looked at a man, he had to be at least twenty four, and had short, spiked black hair. "You okay Ma'am?" he asked softly, looking at Utau worriedly. Utau nodded slowly, but than remembered about Kukai whom was still in the car that she managed to abandon. She then tried to get up, and tried to rush to the other side of the car.

"Kukai!" she shouted at the car, the tears still rolling down her checks, her body shaking from fear and pain. She then attempted to get the teen out of the car, but didn't succeed at doing so. The man, which she learned had gotten a good gash on his left leg, limped over to where Utau was; watching her attempt to get Kukai out of the car. He then pushed her away, he trying himself to get him out of the car, but it was hard when the door jammed shut. Utau then decided to give up and sob, sitting on the ground and cried to herself. She wasn't sure _what_exactly to do at that point. She had gotten in a car crash, she was injured, a man was injured, and Kukai, who was drunk, was stuck as well.

And then she hired sirens, the man must have called. Utau then dropped her head, she knew that the paparazzi were going to love this and were going to tear Utau apart because of it. The ambulance, and police all surrounded the accident, the police started to investigate while the ambulance tried to make sure that everyone was okay and tried to get Kukai out of the car as well.

Utau couldn't take it anymore, and the pain was unbearable. Everything went black to her and she fell backwards onto the tar.

* * *

Utau opened her eyes to a much nicer scenery, a hospital room- a very well organized one at that. She was startled when people all of suden started talking happily and worried that she was awake. Her eyes scanned the crowed, her mother, Ikuto, Yukairi, Naikidou, Kari, Amu, Rima (Though she wasn't saying much), Nagihiko (Neither was he, the two of them didn't know each other well), Yaya, and Tadase. Utau blinked slowly, trying to take everything in, it was morning, meaning that it was the next day. And the guardians were in the room that she was in, so then was Kukai dead? Utau shook her head, she didn't want to believe that.

Yaya was appauled. "You're not okay?" she asked scaredly, getting wide eyed.

"I'm fine." Utau replied, but she didn't realize how weak her voice was, it sounded scratchy and uneven. She than pushed the blankets off of herself and made an attempt to get out of the bed, but yet to be pushed back onto the bed by her mother. Her mother had a soft smile on her face, a look that said Utau needed her rest. Utau made a face, she didn't want to stay in the uncomfortable bed all day, she wanted to find where Kukai was.

"You're still weak from the car crash dear, you need your rest." her mother told her, her voice was soft and sweet, almost soothing. Her mother's amethyst eyes met Utau's own amethyst eyes, each other just staring at each other.

It was silent for the next few minutes, mostly everyone was happy because Utau was awake and basically well. But Utau was worrying about the soccer boy, Kukai. One most of the guests have left, (mostly the guardians, including Kari, Yukari and Naikidou.) it was just Ikuto and her mother left with her. Ikuto sat down in a chair near the bed that she was laying on, remaining silent, while her mother took a seat as well.

"How did this happen?" Souko's voice flew into the room, soft and sweet.

Utau looked at her mother, she wasn't sure if she wanted to tell her. But she knew that her mother was worried about her, even if she wasn't showing it. "I..it started when Amu called me and asked me to pick up K-.. Kukai," she started, her voice was shaky and unsure. "So I did so, I drove to 25 Maple street, to get him."

"You drove there alone?" her mother asked, eyeing her suspiciously.

"Yes mom," Utau replied softly, nodding slowly. "Alone because I was at my apartment."

Her mother sighed, giving her daughter a concerned look. "Well.. anyways, please continue dear."

"So when I got there, it took me a little bit to find him, but I did after a little bit.. he was drunk." she stated the last part as boldly as she could, biting her lower lip. "So I dragged him off to my car, to take him home.. but I didn't know where he lived so I decided to bring him to my apartment." Utau sighed, sitting up in the hospital bed, her voice slightly shaky. "And then I heard tires screeching on the tar, I started to worry, I didn't know what to do, I'm not that good of a dri-.. I should have stopped." she suddenly stopped talking, blinking slowly. She shook her head, beginning to speak once again. "I tried to get Kukai back in his seat- he was all clingy over me, because he was drunk, I assume. I managed to get him in the seat, in time and buckle him up, but after that, it was basically too late." She felt water come to her eyes again, and she wipped it away. "I tried to turn out of the way, but I turned the car, and the other car hit Kukai's side..."

"Oh Utau," Souko said in soft voice, her eyes widening.

"T-...t.." she couldn't speak, the tears came back once again and started to fall down her cheeks. Souko put her arms around her and tried to get her to stop, and after a few minutes, the tears slowed down. "the call then rolled over _twice_, so we were both getting... crushed.."

Souko shook her head. "I can't believe that happened to you.. two.." she said to herself, finding that she herself had tears forming in her eyes. As on the other side of the hospital bed, Ikuto was sitting there emotionless. "What are we gonna do? What if he dies-"

Utau looked up at Souko. "He's not dead yet?" she asked in a stern tone, pushing the blankets off of herself, revailing a plain white hospital gown. She pushed past her mother, almost loosing her balance and rushed for the door. "I need to see him," she paused, looking back at her two family members. "it's my fault he's in this condition." Utau then left the room, looking around the hospital. She had never seen so many injured people in her life, some had missing arms, other had fractured bones and some had missing skin. She then wondered about herself, what did she look like after getting in the accident?

Utau shook her head, taking a step and felt a pain in her leg. She looked down in her leg to find a scar on it, she made a face. "Must have been from the glass from the dashboard..." she mumbled to herself and limped to the main desk, after getting the information from where Kukai was, she made her way to his room, slowly and unsteadily. She opened the door slowly and peaked inside the room, he was laying down on the hospital bed. From the distance of about ten feet, she could see the scars on his face, ones that could be on his face forever, and it was _her_ fault.

She walked into the room and closed the door quietly, and looked at the hurt teen. She already felt emotions rush through her, she bit her lip to remain silent and made her way to his hospital bed, silently pulling a chair next to it. She sat in it and looked at him, unsure of what to do. She was completely startled by his voice. "I'm sorry, Utau."

Utau looked back at him, his eyes were open, and he was looking at her with a frown. "For what?" she asked in a soft voice. "I should be sorry, I got in the car crash."

"But I got drunk and had to get you to come and get me." he replied in a madden tone. "I'm so stupid, I can't believe I was drinking."

Utau placed her hand on his, giving him a soft smile. "We all make mistakes in our life, Kukai. No one is perfect." she watched him smile back, a weak smile that she had never expected to come from him.

"I might not make it Utau," Kukai stated boldly, waiting for the moment for when Utau's eyes would widen and start to freak out. He knew that she wouldn't deal with this well.

Utau let out a breath, and looked at Kukai, who had a weak look in his eyes. "Can.. you.. try you best to stay here?" she asked in a quiet voice, which was shaky. "If you die, I'll feel like it's my fault. And I don't know what I would do without you." she confessed, looking away from him.

Kukai chuckled softly, but then suddenly stopped. "I'll try, Utau, but there's no promises." he told her, feeling her hand shaking slightly. "The injuries from the crash are fatal, they say I'm lucky that I'm alive."

Utau looked back at Kukai, tears forming at her eyes. She shook her head and brought her hands to her face, trying to wipe the tears away. "It's all my fault, I basically killed you!" she then started to cry, shaking. "I turned the car and it was your side that it hit! I could have turned it the other way but I didn't!"

"Utau, listen to me." Kukai said in a stern tone, managing to sit up, even though it hurt him a lot and took her hands and held them as tight as he could in his own. "Your arms just happened to have you turn the car on the side that I was. And you had no control of it when it rolled over." he then messed up her hair, winking at her. "So don't blame yourself, it hurts me to see you crying like this."

Utau looked up at him, wiping more tears away and blinked slowly. She didn't want to argue with him, she just wanted him to live. She never knew she cared about him so much, and now it was all coming to her. She forced a smile, for him. "Doesn't that hurt you to be sitting up like that?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Well, yeah.. kinda." Kukai admitted, laying back down and turned his head to look at her. "Happy?" he grinned anyways, he knew her answer.

Utau gave a real smile back to him and held his hand tightly, she didn't want to leave, she wanted to be with him. "You called me beautiful," she mumbled quietly, looking at him, too see a blush show on his injured face. "when you were drunk."

"D-did I?" he asked, choking on his words.

Utau nodded slowly, concrened of his choking, but remained silent about it. "Do... you really think I'm beautiful?"

"Yes. I do." Kukai admitted, winking at her. "I also have one question for you Utau.."

Utau blinked slowly, giving him a look. "What is it?" Kukai then motioned for her to come closer, and closer once again. And suddenly, before she could pull away, he pulled her ontop of her and held her tightly. "K-Kukai!"

"Can you kiss me?" he asked in a gentle tone, a pleading look in his eyes. Utau looked at him, unable to say anything, other than a blush the showed on her face. "Please?" he asked in a strained voice. "If I don't make it.. then I'll never would have been able to kiss you, to know what it's like."

"F-..fine." Utau said softly, pressing her lips gently against his. The kiss was much different from the once she experienced the night before, there was more to it, and he wasn't a drunk mess. He then asked for an entrance, she could tell by his tongue sliding across her lips. She accepted, quite quickly, and let his tongue explore her mouth, and Utau slide her tongue into his. Something then seemed wrong, something from Kukai.

Utau pulled her mouth away from him and looked at him, he seemed weaker than ever. He smiled weakly at her. "I think this is the end, Utau."

Utau shook her head, she wasn't going to accept this. "No," she mumbled to him. "I wont let it happen." she said desperately. "You can't die!" Tears rolled down her face, and onto Kukai's hospital outfit.

"I'm sorry, Utau." he said in a weak voice, raising of his hands from her side and wipe tears off of her face. "Not everyone get's happy endings... and I guess I don'-..."

"Kukai!" Utau yelled at him, causing him to open his eyes, he had never seen her like this before. She was crying, shaking, and pounding her fist of the side of the hospital bed. "Stay with me! Please!" she continued to shout, yell, and at one point, scream. That caused the doctors to rush into the room, unaware of what was going on until they walked into the room, to see the scene.

The doctors ran over to Kukai and Utau, while some started to work on Kukai and help him live, the had to pry Utau off of him. She started to scream, she didn't want to leave him, she couldn't bear not being with him. While the doctor's tried their best, they had a bad feeling that he wasn't going to make it. And while Utau continued to scream, some things incoherent, the doctors were slowly loosing the battle.

Utau tried to get out of the doctor's arms, but failed to do so, they were stronger then they looked. She continued to scream, until a doctor put a hand over her mouth to shut her up. The doctors then tried one thing, and after they tried, the whole room went silent. No one bothered saying, or shouting anything. After a few moments, a doctor that was by Kukai, finally spoke up. "Miss. Hoshina... Mr. Souma Kukai is..."

Utau remained crying, she a gut feeling that he was going to say dead, if it wasn't already obvious. There was another moment of silence, until Utau was getting impatient. "Just say it already!" she choked out.

"Alive."

Utau broke free from the two doctors that were holding onto her and ran to the doctor that spoke, wrapping her arms around him and cried into his shirt. She had to say thank you about twenty times before she let doctors smiled at her, all of them leaving the room at the same time. Utau then turned to look at the sleeping Kukai and a smile formed on her face.

She walked over to him and leaned down and kissed his cheek. "I love you." she confessed to the sleeping boy, smiling at him and made her way to the door. Taking one last look at him, she smiled to herself and left him to get some sleep. Of course, there would be a long time before he would be getting out of the hospital, she knew that, but she couldn't wait to eat ramen with him once again.

_**This. Took. A while. And I probably could have made it into a fanfic, as well. o.e Well, anyways, I'm aware that Utau is a little OOC (Well, at least I think so.) in this, so please, don't go all bashy on it .3.**_


End file.
